In 1980

Jimmy Carter is president of the US President Carter announces punitive measures and embargos against the USSR in retaliation for the Soviet invasion of Afghanistan Mount St. Helens in Washington state erupts in a violent blast estimated to be 500 times as powerful as the Hiroshima atomic bomb Ronald Reagan is elected the 40th US president in a sweeping victory US Representative Michael O. Myers is expelled from the House for his role in the Abscam scandal Hewlett-Packard announces release of its first personal computer Microsoft announces their version of UNIX, Xenix Christina Ricci, Chelsea Clinton, Venus Williams, Jessica Simpson, Macaulay Culkin, and Jake Gyllenhaal are born Philadelphia Phllies win the World Series Pittsburgh Steelers win Superbowl XIV New York Islanders win the Stanley Cup The Empire Strikes Back is the top grossing film “Lady” by Kenny Rogers spends the most time at the top of the US charts U.S. viewers get caught up in the “Who Shot J.R.?” cliff hanger on the soap opera series, Dallas, which is solved on a November 21 episode, drawing a record numbers of viewers

I must confess I’m a bit disappointed. I was hoping more exciting things took place that year. Oh well…

Adnan has a post on his blog talking about a babysitting experience he just had. I won’t go into the whole story. I’ll just say I posted a comment in which I expressed my dislike with babysitting jobs. My position on the matter is based on some experiences a couple of my friends had.

He replied to my comment asking me

What happened with your friends that made you so against babysitting?

Instead of posting another comment, I decided to use such an opportunity to write a post about it.

Where do I start?

First I want to make it clear from the very beginning that I have never had the chance to babysit myself. So, the truth of the matter is that I can only speak from other people’s experiences. Second of all it’s not really that bad. And it’s not necessarilly that I am against babysitting as a professional job. I’m not even against it as a part time job for students who can very well use a bit of extra cash in their pockets.

What actually bugs me is the attitude from the parents many babysitters must put up with.

As far as I understand the situation, we’re dealing with two large categories here.

The first one includes those parents who need someone to babysit only on certain occasions (they’re going to a concert, they have a date, they have a late business meeting etc.). These folks and their kids are easy to deal with. Mainly because they are part of their children’s lives (they know what it means to deal with a brat who just won’t go to sleep when told to). As a result they understand that, in many occasions, when the child complains about a babysitter is because they’re trying to get even with her (or him) as they could not get away with having and doing things their way.

The second category is represented by those folks who rely on a (professional) babysitter to raise their children. They don’t have the time to do it themselves. This category can be divided further on into two subcategories:
- busy professionals who lack time due to their jobs which require most of their time (they’re not really that bad either);
- “stay-at-home-anything-but-moms” (a.k.a. “Desperate Housewives“) Now the fun begins!

This last subcategory is the one that really got me to make the comment I made on Adnan’s post. It might be hard for you to believe, but you have no idea how many of them there are. All my firiends who used to work as babysitters had to deal with such type of “parents”.

But let’s start with the beginning. These ladies have nothing to do all day long, yet, for some reason, they need a baby sitter. Gimme a break!

Getting back to the actual baby sitter and what she or he has to deal with, probably the best way to start would be by saying that these women have no idea what the heck is going on in their children’s lives. They don’t know their children. They imagine they’re angels. They believe all the lies those kids tell them. And, not that I don’t like kids, but let’s face it: many times children are worse than grown ups when it comes to screwing you over. When you bring into the equation the feeling that they’re ignored by their parents you got yourself a mess. These kids, consciously or not, think that every babysitter is trying to replace the parents. In the same time they want their parents’ attention and time so badly that they do everything they can to get rid of everyone, hoping that will bring the parents back into their lives.

On the other hand, many of these moms feel so guilty about not spending time with the children that they put up with everything and expect the babysitters to do the same thing. This only encourages the child to become a brat, knowing he or she will get away with eveything. I know of multiple situations when the child will refuse to do something because “mommy doesn’t make me do that, so why should I listen to you?”

Another reason many parents let their kids do whatever they want is because they’ve got no idea what raising a child is all about. They don’t realize that many times it’s about saying no for the sake of the child. I know many cases of parents who gave the babysitter specific instructions as to let the children do whatever they want, whenever they want, to let them dress however they want, to let them eat whatever they want whenever they want. “We want to encourage them to have their own personality!” A two-year old? Are ya freakin’ kidding me?!?!?!?!

It’s even worse when such attitudes come from a mom who really stays at home to take care of the kids. Everything gets out of control and, before you know it, guess “Who’s The Boss?” You got it!

So there you have it Adnan. That’s why I am so against babysitting. My response was trigerred by all these facts and when I decided to comment I haven’t really thought of the fact that the question in your title was more for the heck of it rather than a serious matter.

As I said in my comment, it’s the parents that, through their influences over the children, sometimes make me go crazy only when I hear about babysitting.

It’s true that we also have the other face of the coin: babysitters who don’t know what the heck they’re doing. About that some other time. Maybe!

These guys could probably teach us a few things about driving. Especially about giving the right of way and respecting other members of the traffic.

I found this post about American Idol. What I insist you do is watch the video (I’m too lazy to embed it myself). This comes perfectly after I wrote a post in which, towards the end I suggest there’s certain situations when it’s better to lie (and I’m not talking about lying to the cop as to whether you had a couple of drinks tonight or not).

Other than that I strongly believe it’s better to tell the truth, even if it might hurt someone’s feelings.

Let’s take it step by step.

If you watch the video I suggested, you will very easily understand that the girl (Mary Roach) emphisez a couple of times that one of the reasons she decided to participate was friends and family who convinced her she has a great voice and she would make a great singer. I’m ready to bet anyone that at least 80% of all the guys and girls who try their luck with American Idol are in the same position.

I doubt anyone would try and convince their friends they are good singers just to see them embarras themselves. Also don’t even try and tell me anyone can receive a alot of real positive feedback when that person is a really bad singer. That’s why my conclusion is that what we’re dealing with here is a large number of people who are being lied for the sake of not hurting their feelings.

As a matter of fact I have my own experiences with this. When I hear a song I like, I usually sing along with it. When I was a child my dad really thought I had a pretty good voice. My mother, on the other hand, would always tell me that I suck at it. Did it hurt the first time? You bet. However, I got used to it and I realized she was right when more and more people told me the same thing. Now you might judge them as just being jealous and not wanting to see me become a huge success. I did so at first. When I trully heard myself singing… Well, lets just say I was thankful to all of those who didn’t lie to me for the sake of my feelings.

But don’t you always hear yourself sing? You do. The problem is that the sound of your voice is not really the one you hear. To get a closer version of the real sound of your voice record yourself. Nowadays almost anyone has a digital camera. Most of them will allow you to record movies. Do that. Preferably record a short video of you singing and then listen to it. Ouch! What did I tell you? I suggest you slap the next person who tells you what a great voice you have and what a great singer you could be.

Those of you who do indeed have a good voice you go ahead and take the necessary steps to become the next American idol. The other ones, just stop chasing windmills. If it’s not meant to be (because you don’t have what it takes) you’ll just waste your time.

However, this is not the topic we’re talking about here.

Getting back to it, ever since I realized what it means to not lie to people when you shouldn’t, I stopped doing it. My friends hate me for that sometimes, but every time they’re looking for an honest opinion, they come to me because they know they’ll get one (favorable or not). They know I’ll say it as it is, whether it hurts them or not. I’m not saying I don’t ever lie. If you read my other post you probably understood I do. I just weigh the seriousness of the situation and the effects it will have on the other person. And you can bet your life I won’t lie when I’m specifically asked for an honest opinion (which I can’t tell about other people I personally know).

I lack the capability of seeing things any other way. If you think you can change my mind, go ahead leave a comment. I doubt you’ll get any results though.