What’s my problem, than? I’ll tell you what my problem is. I don’t know if you’ve noticed but another thing that’s becoming trendy (or so I think since I’ve only seen it happening in the past year) is for your credit card companies to send you checks to use for whatever reason you wish (to pay other cards, to pay bills, to transfer some money into your bank account etc.). Overall quite a good idea. I don’t know if you’ve gotten any of them (I believe you would need to have a balance lower than 50% of your credit limit to get them). These checks usually have an expiration date, meaning you can only use them by a certain date, which in my case, on most batches I received, was about three months from the date I got them.

And now we’re getting to the problem (finally); two weeks later I’ll receive another batch. And two weeks after that, another one. And so on and so forth. I mean here you are encouraging me to go paperless to save the trees, yet you don’t even wait for the expiration date on the checks you sent me just two weeks ago to come and you send me another batch. Absolutely wasted paper. And needless to say they don’t send only the checks. A bunch of other junk advertising comes along with them (don’t even get me started on that one).

As I said, I do believe the whole idea with the checks is a good one – you never know when you need them. But there’s two things these banks could do (either one of them or both of them in the same time). Either keep your mouth shut (so to speak) and don’t try to make me feel guilty about ruining the environment with my paper bills, when you yourself couldn’t care less about it and when the actual reason for which you prefer your customers to go paperless is because it cuts down on your costs, thus increasing your profits. Or/And have a software that tells you the expiration date of the last checks you sent me and, in the same time, whether I have used any of them so far or not. And have that software tell you when to send me the new checks: when I have only a couple of the previous ones left or when there’s about a week or so left before they expire (whichever comes first). Don’t even tell me you can’t have something like that (’cause I’ll take it as if you think I’m stupid). As for whether this would be cost effective or not, well… I guess it’s less expensive for you to waste the trees. But then I go back to my problem: stop trying to sell me paperless on environmental reasons.

In the same area of wasted paper, here’s another thing that bugs me. I have a checking account. Attached to that account is my debit card. When I opened the account, the bank representative offered me to have that card work like a rewards credit card (you know the deal: you buy on credit you get something in return). In my case we’re talking about United Airlines miles. Considering I’ve never had a rewards card of any kind so far, I accepted the deal (which costs me about $25/year without me ever being able to use those miles – they’ll expire before I have enough of them) just for the heck of it.

Ever since then, I receive, from the guys at United, credit card offers. And they’re linked with that debit card I mentioned. Each and every one of the offers comes with an updated balance of my miles together with a big fat number of free ones I could get if I apply for this credit card. Of course these offers have expiration dates as well. But do you think they wait for those offers to expire before sending me new ones? You got it: NO. And just like the case with the checks, new ones come in, literally, every other week. Sometimes the envelopes just sit there on my desk for weeks and weeks just pilling up. I don’t even open them anymore.

And you’re telling me you care about the environment? And you’re trying to sell me paperless to save the trees? Are you freaking kidding me?

I know what many of you are going to say: Dude, it’s just marketing. Everyone knows these things are going on and you just have to live with them. Just let it go.

And I ask you: Why? Why should I let it go?

You can rest assured I’m not as naive as to even imagine I could have anything changed about it. But that doesn’t mean I’m not going to take a few minutes of my time to express my disgust with these companies and folks who would do anything in the name of the good ol’ buck.

As for the fact that is nothing but plain marketing, I don’t know about you, but I’m the kind of person who believes that there’s a limit to everything. And if you see that your prospective customer is just not interested, it’s time to give up. Or if you just have to keep on trying, at least stop the harassment. As far as I’m concerned, that’s what it is: harassment. Don’t do it so often anymore. Give the guy (or girl) a break before you come knocking on the door again. It’s true they might have changed their mind in the mean time, but stop expecting this to happen within a few days. It won’t.

Then, before I go on with what I have to say about this topic – which might get some of you to strongly disagree with me – I need to let everyone know that I am both a very pragmatic, practical person (1+1=2 in any given situation, no matter how you twist it) as well as a bit of a dreamer who believes that no government on this planet will ever completely solve any problems, and that the only way we can get at least close to having a better world is by each and every one of us being at least a little bit of a better person.

These being said, I will start by saying that every time I hear of anything even remotely similar to the VT tragedy, I can’t help it but ask myself: why the innocent people?

Here’s the deal: in any such situations when someone with huge personal problems decides to do something like that, as far as I am concerned, a certain person (or maybe several) triggered the “short circuit” that determines the killer to do such horrible things. Why not go only after those folks? Why not go only after those against whom they seek revenge? Am I saying that it’s O.K. to kill someone as an act of revenge? My God, NO!!! However, (and remember 1+1=2 no matter what) folks like this student, once they made up their mind to kill a certain person as an act of revenge are going to do it no matter what, whether I like it or not, whether you like it or not, whether anyone else likes it or not. Unfortunately, that’s the cruel truth. The ecuation being given, I go back to my question: why the innocent? Whether we’re talking about this case, the Columbine Highschool, the Washington sniper or the just a few months old Chicago case of the truck driver who convinced that one patent lawyer scamed him, decided to make his own law and went out to kill him, taking the lives of 3 or 4 other innocent people. (I’ll come back to why I believe that Cho’s killings started as a matter of some sort of revenge.)

The answer might come when we think that such folks are mentally deranged. What else can you expect from such a person? They’re crazy, right? I agree with you. However, another theory of mine comes to mind. Who is normal in the first place and what does normal mean? I have yet to see one single person whom I haven’t considered (at certain points in time) to be trully and honestly crazy. Whether I think of rage bursts or financial decisions (yes my friend) or complete personality changes of a person together with the change of the environment. And if you’re telling me you have never, yourself, been in a situation after which you asked yourself: “What was up with that? What was I thinking? What is the matter with me?” I will tell it to your face: I don’t believe you! These being said I repeat my question: who is normal and what does normal actually mean?

Am I trying to defend those who commit such atrocities? No. However, I like to find explanations for anything that intrigues me. Since this is one issue that does intrigue me, I have thought of it and came to the conclusion that we’re all mentally deranged. What keeps most us from commiting such horrible acts are the strength of our personalities and the environment in which we go about our daily lives.

As one phsichologist interviewed on one of the news channels put it: we tend to blame others for everything that goes wrong in our lives. How many times has it happened to you? I’ve certainly done it a few times and I’m sure I’ll do it again. If we don’t find the strength within ourselves or within our circle of friends and family to realize both that many bad things are the result of our own wrong doings and that even when it is someone else’s fault, life is too short to let such things affect us and just get over it and move on to the next, it’s very easy to allow them to pile up and affect us in such a manner that we evntually snap.

If you take a look at Monday’s events at VT and others similar to it, you realize that it’s not the kind of snap where you just brake something or hit someone out of frustration, but the one that leads to planning the “revenge against society”. What makes them worse is that such revenge is not targeted towards a certain person or thing, but, as I said, society in general. In other cases they start with a certain person and either planned or not, go on to innocent people.

I personally believe that Virginia Tech was planned to target a certain person (the first girl he murdered) and then go after “the society”. You most likely have heard by now about Cho’s note, writings (you can find them here) and the fact that he had bought 2 guns within a month.

Needless to say, there are already voices who make a conection between the VT events and the war in Iraq. The question on many folks’ lips is “Why is it that we make such a tragic event only out of the VT case and do not treat the victims of the war in Iraq the same way?” It is a very legitimate question and there is an answer to it. We might like it or not, but the truth of the matter is that whether we’re talking about civilians or soldiers in Iraq (and in any previous, present and future war zones), these people are in a war zone. And whether we like to admit it or not, war zones come with casualties. We expect them to happen. Whilst, killings, such as those in VA, come as a shock because they happen where and when nobody expects it. They take everyone by surprise. Are these lives in any way more precious than those of the soldiers and civilians killed during wars? They’re not any more or any less precious. However, unconsciounsly, both the general public, as well as those who have dear ones in any war zone, become accustomed with the certainty that there will be deaths in those areas and the possibility that their loved ones might be among the victims. It’s the element of shock, the unexpected and more than that, the unimaginable that students might die out of the blue for no reason that make such events world wide news stories.

On the other hands, many civilians and soldiers in a war zone have a choice: civilians – to move out; soldiers – not to enroll. I know this is a very simplistic statement and that the situation is much more complicated. Many of us would rather die than flee our homes in front of a threat that can be fought against. Soldiers are driven by their love for their country and they feel it’s their duty to protect it and its values. And I agree. However, by simply saying “I would rather die than do something”, by simply saying “I have to protect my country and its values” you bring upon you the choice. You could choose not to endanger your life. Would you have been able to live with yourself? Most likely not. But you had a choice. You knew the danger was there, yet you chose to fight it hoping you will survive. As for victims of events such as Monday’s, they do not have a choice. Nobody is expecting something like that to happen. Nobody is even dreaming of it. Nobody gives them any choice. They are at the absolute discretion of a lunatic.

A friend of mine told me that, while checking the international coverage of the events, saw a title in a newspaper that said somehing like “The killings in Virginia are as American as the apple pie.” At first I found it a bit shocking, but after taking part in a few conversations and hearing on the news how many people believe that indeed such events are a result of the relaxed gun control policy in the U.S. I took a moment to think about it. And came to the realisation that it kind of makes sense. I just heard it on the news, that up until 1996 (or something like that) Australia used to have numerous such incidents (on average, almost every 18 months) until they tightened the gun control legislation. I realized that, indeed, I haven’t heard of any such events from any other country in the world. Needless to say this will start a whole new debate on the subject (Gun Control – How Strict Should It Be?). The truth is, as always, somewhere in the middle.

However, I strongly believe that, before the debate starts, we need to let some time go by (no good decisions ever come out of agitated spirits).

What all of us should do is take a step back and analize our own situation: how much of a disturbed person each and everyone one of us is (be true to yourself; we owe it to all the victims of such tragedies and their families and friends) and how much does each of us contribute to other people’s madness. I just saw an interview with a couple of former highschool coleagues of Cho’s. They talked about how weird of a guy he was regarded as and some of the reactions of those around him. It seems like he was so quiet, that there were students who went to him and offered him $10 just to say “Hi”. What place do you think such actions found in his personality (which already seemed to be deranged). And yes my dear friends, you need to teach your children that bullying is not O.K. That we all have to show respect to everyone just for being a human being, regardless of how strange you find that person to be. Some of these personality problems form in early childhood. And another big YES, too many adults seem to lack the maturity to treat other people with the mere respect any human being deserves.

Next time when you walk pass by someone who seems to have a problem (and in most instances you can tell), instead of throwing them a mean look, instead of treating them as you were in any way superior to them, just smile to them. Say hello. And I’m ready to bet anyone that if we all did the same thing, fewer and fewer incidents will occur and more and more people will eventually find the strength to find their way back in society.

I remember an episode of “Friends” in which Jason Alexander played an office supply manager who was getting ready to commit suicide simply because he had been working for the same company for about 10 years (or so), yet, nobody in the office seemed to notice his existence or know who he was or whether he was working there or not. And I’m quite positive you can find someone like him in any office. Someone who goes by unnoticed, someone who gets left out of any single activity, conversation etc. How about next time when you see that person, you just say hi to him/her. The following time say a bit more than just hi, maybe start a conversation. And just keep going no matter how much resistance you have to deal with and show you really and trully care about him/her just for being your colleague. And who knows, you might just save someone’s life.

The examples could go on and on. Just look around you and give a smile.

I hope I have managed to make my point clear: without wanting to find any excuses for such unfortunate events, I had to be honest to myself and you, and talk about the issue the way I see it.

God bless us all.