Other than that I strongly believe it’s better to tell the truth, even if it might hurt someone’s feelings.

Let’s take it step by step.

If you watch the video I suggested, you will very easily understand that the girl (Mary Roach) emphisez a couple of times that one of the reasons she decided to participate was friends and family who convinced her she has a great voice and she would make a great singer. I’m ready to bet anyone that at least 80% of all the guys and girls who try their luck with American Idol are in the same position.

I doubt anyone would try and convince their friends they are good singers just to see them embarras themselves. Also don’t even try and tell me anyone can receive a alot of real positive feedback when that person is a really bad singer. That’s why my conclusion is that what we’re dealing with here is a large number of people who are being lied for the sake of not hurting their feelings.

As a matter of fact I have my own experiences with this. When I hear a song I like, I usually sing along with it. When I was a child my dad really thought I had a pretty good voice. My mother, on the other hand, would always tell me that I suck at it. Did it hurt the first time? You bet. However, I got used to it and I realized she was right when more and more people told me the same thing. Now you might judge them as just being jealous and not wanting to see me become a huge success. I did so at first. When I trully heard myself singing… Well, lets just say I was thankful to all of those who didn’t lie to me for the sake of my feelings.

But don’t you always hear yourself sing? You do. The problem is that the sound of your voice is not really the one you hear. To get a closer version of the real sound of your voice record yourself. Nowadays almost anyone has a digital camera. Most of them will allow you to record movies. Do that. Preferably record a short video of you singing and then listen to it. Ouch! What did I tell you? I suggest you slap the next person who tells you what a great voice you have and what a great singer you could be.

Those of you who do indeed have a good voice you go ahead and take the necessary steps to become the next American idol. The other ones, just stop chasing windmills. If it’s not meant to be (because you don’t have what it takes) you’ll just waste your time.

However, this is not the topic we’re talking about here.

Getting back to it, ever since I realized what it means to not lie to people when you shouldn’t, I stopped doing it. My friends hate me for that sometimes, but every time they’re looking for an honest opinion, they come to me because they know they’ll get one (favorable or not). They know I’ll say it as it is, whether it hurts them or not. I’m not saying I don’t ever lie. If you read my other post you probably understood I do. I just weigh the seriousness of the situation and the effects it will have on the other person. And you can bet your life I won’t lie when I’m specifically asked for an honest opinion (which I can’t tell about other people I personally know).

I lack the capability of seeing things any other way. If you think you can change my mind, go ahead leave a comment. I doubt you’ll get any results though.

What do you do with them?

The holidays have passed a little while ago. I’m quite positive everyone has received some gifts they’re not really happy about. I know I have.

Now, in the case of gifts you got from people you don’t really give a damn about it’s very easy to get rid of them. There’s no guilt. You don’t really care if they come to you and ask what you’ve done with them. It’s quite easy to come up with a stupid excuse (even something like “the dog ate it”). You couldn’t care less whether they believe you or not or whether they’re hurt or not. It’s not very nice, but we all have “friends” we’re not really fond of.

What happens though in the case of family, friends who are really dear to you. They maybe couldn’t afford anything better or just had a bad day when they picked up your gift.

Before we go any further here’s what you should absolutely not do. Or at least put up in place a system that will keep you from embarassing yourseld. I have a friend of mine who had the bad habbit of passing to others gifts he didn’t want. It all went just fine until one day when he gave a gift to the person he got it from. I can’t even tell you the embarassement he went through. The guy didn’t talk to him for about a month.

What I like to do is use the gift (whatever that involves) for a while so that the person I got it from is happy. Then, after a while I phase it out, until I stop using it completely.

I know some of you might think that it’s always better to tell the truth. I am of the same opinion. However, there’s plenty of situations when telling a small lie really doesn’t hurt anybody. And I believe this is one of those situations.

I learned this on my own when I was about 10-11 years old. My parents and I were visiting my aunt. She had just been on a vacation out of the country visiting some friends. It had been quite a huge financial effort for her. However, she brought everybody little gifts. Mine was a clipboard. On previous occasions when we were there, she saw that I like to organize things. So, she thought I might really like a clipboard. And I did. I wanted to have a clipboard so badly, that I had my parents buy me one. The problem was that the one I had was more than a clipboard. It was more like a folder-clipboard. So when my aunt gave me the one she had bought, instead of appreciating her good will, I started bragging about mine and how it was much better than hers. To this day I can’t forget her face.

Of course I was just a kid and I didn’t know any better. Unfortunately though, I’ve seen grown ups do the same thing. This kind of honesty it’s not worth it. It only hurts our loved ones for no good reason.